What NOT to do at Coaching Classes

Here is a sort-of-a ready reckoner of What NOT to Do at Coaching Classes:

Disclaimer : Following work is based on self-tests and others' experiences and is meant to assist the reader Yet, the author undertakes no guarantee for any loss/harm/damage done to followers of the same.

SITUATION I : HUNGER (first things first!)

LEVEL I (1) : Somethin’s cookin’??

STUFF ON THE SIDE: Peppermints, Chana or similar products, Poppins or any chocolates (Kindly avoid the sticky, melting, chewy or noise-making wrapper varieties)

HOW TO GO ABOUT IT:  Place the stuff carefully on your palm but below the desk or such a place where you cannot be caught. Remember to place it on the palm of the hand you do not use for writing and hold in your fist. This is to avoid arousing suspicion in the mind of the teacher and thereby continue with the writing work, flipping pages etc. Then rest that arm on the desk and slip the product to your mouth when the teacher is not looking at you! Another option is to use your writing hand for the same. Get your hands together and rest your elbows on the desk as if you are in a serious mood (with the product intact in your non-writing hand). And then slip the product to your mouth with your fingers when the teacher is not looking at you!

LEVEL I (2) : Ouch! Manageable though..

STUFF ON THE SIDE: Chips (Kindly avoid the big sized or noise-making wrapper varieties), Baakarvadi (strictly the small ones), Glucose energy biscuits/chocolates (preferably broken down to smaller pieces in advance).

HOW TO GO ABOUT IT:  As specified for Level I (1). However, please ensure the product is broken down to smaller pieces so that it requires minimum movement of the mouth to chew up.

LEVEL I (3) : Stomach on fire! Or Growling!

STUFF ON THE SIDE: Protein-powered Laddoos, Even the brain of the one sitting beside you (no matter even if he/she doesn’t have one; even empty ones can be a life saver at this point of time!)

HOW TO GO ABOUT IT:  As specified for Level I (1) and Level I (2).

SITUATION II : SLEEP

LEVEL II (1) : Ho..Hum..! yawn...

STUFF ON THE SIDE: Chana, Hajmola (to take advantage of its tangy flavour!), Avala supari (to take advantage of its salty-flavour and medicinal properties!)

HOW TO GO ABOUT IT:  As specified for Level I (1).

LEVEL II (2) : YAWWNN…

STUFF ON THE SIDE: Glucon-D water (Strictly lemon-flavoured; to give an impression of drinking ‘water’ and not any energy drink!), Chilled water, Lemon juice (for the same reason as specified for Glucon-D water!)

HOW TO GO ABOUT IT:  Take your bottle in your non-writing hand while keeping your eyes fixed on the teacher (if he/she is explaining) or on the board (if he/she is writing/explaining on the board, if any) or on the book (if anything is being read or written). Casually drink small portions of the product not more than two times at a time. Only once will be excellent. This is to give an impression that you are more interested in the lecture over and above satisfying the bare need of quenching thirst! Keep the bottle at its place without letting your eyes off from the teacher/board/book.

LEVEL II (3) : S.O.S! Will drop dead on the desk anytime!

STUFF ON THE SIDE: Wet tissues (strong-flavoured will be a better option), Damp Handkerchief

HOW TO GO ABOUT IT: Use the product to wipe your face while keeping your eyes fixed on the teacher (if he/she is explaining) or on the board (if he/she is writing/explaining on the board, if any) or on the book (if anything is being read or written). You can hold the product to your eyes for not more than three seconds. Avoid wiping only the eyes to prevent the teacher raising a doubt of your sleepiness! Keep looking down at the book to get a few more moments of half-opened eyes!

A few more situations to come next month! (when my blog turns three..yippee!). Till then, keep practising and smiling :)